Why the Jackson 5 tour will happen

What timing.

I've just finished reading J. Randy Taraborrelli's best selling "The Magic & The Madness" - updated edition, as you may have seen on my Facebook profile. The telling in this book, is repeated how Joseph Jackson masterminds these reunion tours, and uses Katherine to con Michael into agreeing to do them. Then I hear that the Jackson 5 are touring one more time - with Michael!

Michael's involvement with The Jackson 5 has never been productive for Michael himself beyond the motown years, and now that Michael has been widely reported to release his long awaited new album next year - it seems odd that he would agree to do this kind of tour, again.

After the 1984 Victory tour, Joseph Jackson tried to get Michael appear for another reunion tour in the late 80s (in Korea I think). Michael was adamant that those days were over. He hated the involvement with Don King on the '84 tour, and was bewildered by his fathers persistence to 'do it again'. It was yet another cash cow to generate money for the rest of the Jackson family, and Michael hated being 'used' like this.

Get this - his father Joseph had made promises and signed a deal with billionaire investors for another Jackson 5 tour in the late 80s. These billionaires to start with, were in conflict with the Jehovah's Witness religion (the core of the Jackson family). The tour also promised the inclusion of Michael Jackson - without that very confirmation from Michael.

Michael proved a point to his meddling father - by agreeing - then donating all of his earnings from this small tour, to charity. Michael then said - NEVER AGAIN. A Jackson 5 tour will never happen again with Michael Jackson.

Only recently, Michael and Joseph have worked hard to reconcile and move on from this. This has been documented.

So - the news of another Jackson 5 tour?!?!?

• Are we seeing a desperate Michael Jackson face his own debt issues, by signing up to do this and help generate his cut of 500 million dollars from the Jackson 5 tour?
• Is it because Simon Fuller is managing Michael Jackson these days?, and would Frank Dileo (Michaels manager in the 80s) have done the same?

The previous Jackson 5 "reunion tours" were to generate money for the family. Michael never had any problem with money at the time, and I guess, wanted to support his mother financially, and his brothers and father, to a lesser degree. This time - it's Michael who needs the cash.

The smartest move Michael ever made was investing. Specifically, buying the publishing rights to the Beatles catalogue, coz it's kept him afloat despite everything. This passive income has helped him to oust MJJ Productions and form the new Michael Jackson company - thanks to the help of a certain Sony music executive and using his own musical works and copyrights as collateral to the sum of about $270 million.

His debt is widely estimated to be around 300 million.

A cut of the 500 million tour with the Jackson 5 would generate enough to clear this debt, and perhaps this is why he may have signed the dotted line to tour with his brothers one more time.

Lets also hope that Michael tidies up his astounding spending habits, and gets back into making razor sharp investments again.

The New York times calls him a "reclusive caricature locked inside a financial and emotional fantasyland of his own making", which is very true.

Think carefully about that if you have the chance to buy a ticket - although you probably will.

Jackson 5 - I Want You Back (Rogerseventytwo and the Walk Remix) [ogg]

Vehicle Entertainment Systems

Forget iPod docks, forget in-car AM/FM stereo systems, police scanners, heated seating, dashboard internet, WiFi, or gaming consoles in the back seat!

I want the simplest in-car entertainment system that is both easy to learn, easy to use, and most of all - is interesting and keeps me entertained. What is it?

A megaphone.

Recently, I was in traffic and, for lack of a better word, a MORON performed a very elaborate swerving routine between not only myself, but at least a dozen other vehicles in peak hour traffic. It was a really stupid thing to do in front of all of us. Sitting there shaking my head, I could read the lips of every other driver.. something along like lines of "you f-wit", or "I have a child in this car" or "i'm calling the cops".

Can you see where I'm going with this?

My megaphone would become so very useful as a public shaming device, in events like this. I hope to cheer up my fellow drivers by alerting clowns, bozos, morons and f-wits of their behaviour, by simply reading out their number plate at full volume.

Other great worthy mentionables may be:

• "ANOTHER WINNER"
• "TODAYS ASS OF THE DAY GOES TO THE DRIVER IN THE REMUERA TRACTOR WHO HAS NO IDEA HOW TO INDICATE"
• "SOUND YOUR HORN IF YOU'VE JUST WITNESSED A COMPLETE WANKER IN ACTION"

Santa - I want a megaphone.