July 26, 2004

Sunday Shining

Was it ever!

I had a great day last Sunday. I took a girl mate of mine out. She had NO IDEA where I was taking her. Early last year I took her to the Zoo - coz she had lived in Auckland for a few years now and had never visited our fair Kashin and mob, so we did that - but only got halfway through when the park closed. Bugger.

So last Sunday, I picked her up. She thought I wanted a couple of hours with her for input into a recording session or something like that - and to her surprise, I turned into Motions Road and she clicked. 'Awww wow rich, thats such a brilliant idea - AND the weather is great too!"

We spent 4 hours at the Auckland Zoo - and it's changed HEAPS! They have finished nearly all the new enclosures, and are now working on their own offices etc (they are using builders pods for the ticketing, and another for the gift shop).

By the looks of it, they are also building what could be a small shopping/cafe alley. Classy. To offset this, there has been a price increase by a couple of dollars since the beginning of July, but it's money well spent:

[Pic 1][Pic 2][Pic 3][Pic 4]

July 25, 2004

The Vampire still has bite

At one point, I found myself on the edge of my seat! I was bending to pick up my milo. The final hour of 24 last Friday night was good, but nowhere in the neighbourhood of GREAT. It was probably the weakest episode of the whole series.

Strings conveniently tied themselves up, and the producers instead played the mental trauma card of Jack Bauer. He cried in a moment of weakness, alone in his vehicle. It's clear he is suffering from Post-Dramatic Stress Disorder - what with having to kill a fellow CTU agent in the head to satisfy a terrorist, chop off his daughters boyfriends hand with an axe, hiding and eventually beating a job-inflicted drug addiction, oh, and saving the world from a powdered killer virus (which in earlier episodes seemed to be in liquid form) only to be called to another job 5 minutes after the fact, as if he had to issue a parking ticket.

Kiefer Sutherland in real life seems odd too. I caught him on Letterman laughing loudly about something that he only seemed to 'get'. The man has a short fuse when it comes to drinking and fighting, and just last week our NZ media played tabloid by reporting Kiefer's odd antics at the Raetihi Cozzie Club. He danced to 'You Can Leave Your Hat On' and took off his shirt and socks, hogging the stage acting a fool. Apparently he was so overwhelmed by the hospitality (y'know, treating him like a freakin' human) that he thought it'd be fun to join in.

The Vampire still has his bite, I'm just a bit annoyed that the 3rd series ended without a major punch in the goolies. [sfx: balloon fart]. RoveLIVE is now in the vacated timeslot (9:30 Fridays, TV3).

Hey! Wanna be edu-macated?
• Learn more about the Raetihi Stripper
• Official Site: 24
• Lyrics to 'You Can Leave Your Hat On'

July 18, 2004

Talkback: 7 years of freedom

I particuarly enjoyed Bomber's chat about 'the media' with John Campbell last night on Channel Z. I heard 'Prick' more than once and this assured me that John was a real person. They both questioned American media and an important part of its delivery: Strings.

You cannot show graphic images (like we saw in Vietnam) or talk badly about whats going on in Iraq or anywhere war related for fear of backlash by your own Network. Why? Because they are either part-owned by the gun-makers, or they advertise the bullets. Therefore you get breif coverage on what the real news is, as to whats actually happening. Oh, and mass distortion on the truth not to mention the lack of ethics by the corporate gunk at the top.

A clear victim of this is Fox. We get it overnight on Prime TV. It's Ent-fomercial-news-tainment, and it's shit.

As for Bombers Talkback? If you can imagine the communal applause after watching Michael Moore's 9/11 - then copy and paste here -->.

If you missed it, you can hear the chat with John Campbell again after talkback this sunday (July 25th).. ooonnnlllyyy, on Channel Z.

Front Seat

The latest to my list of favourite TV programmes. Hosted by Oliver Driver.
Think B@ckChat a few years back when Bill Ralston did exactly the same thing.

Bill is in charge of TVNZ now, and Gibson Group are in the fold yet again (they also bring us The Insiders Guide To Happiness and Facelift - both great shows) and it seems that Front Seat is the successor to B@ckchat.

I heard talk last week in the leadup to the opening of Studio on Karangahape Road about the impending doom over Helen Young Studios. I learn more from Front Seat, that TRN want the space for offices when the lease is up and Radio New Zealand will then move out possibly losing a precious piece of NZ history in the process.

Also, Oliver had a prepped chat with Peter Cavanagh (the aussie in charge of Radio New Zealand) about the inconclusive fate of the Helen Young Studio, as well as that 'Youth Radio' beast again. Mr Cavanagh is convinced he can not only get our youth listening to National Radio but to also stay loyal. He will 'look at it again'.

Front Seat has its own website - to save me the trip through a framed quicktime hell at TVNZ.co.nz - JOY!

July 16, 2004

cookie crumbs

Over the last week, I've been tracking you all you dirty bastards!
Reading my blog, snickering to yourself and making Johnny Gill watercooler fodder.

Amongst all the visitors over the last week from various mud huts in New Zealand and around the world, I'd like to acknowledge:

Mexico: Distrito Federal (although the bugger needed to translate my page to read it);
USA: Boston, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Virginia (Arlington), Springfield (Illinois), Farmington (Missouri), Buffalo (New York).
UK: Gravesend (sounds fun there!)
Canada: Toronto
South Africa: Capetown (thats the bottom left)

I also had a visitor from an Institute of Phychiatry in the UK. WTF?
Yes, they use Mozilla Firefox also :) - and there were plenty more, but if I'd be bored listing them, you'd be bored reading them.

I use statcounter.com in case you were curious how I got this info - although I refuse to link them from here. ha!.

Oh, by the way...

Does Mel have your number?
Who is Leto? I'm moved.
Interested in "A humble girl with healthy desire living in London with one human, one guitar and lots of tiny robots"? Orbyn will see you now.


It's an institution in America. Everyone knows the game and currently Ken Jennings is the luckiest bastard alive. He has scooped over a million dollars over 30 shows as carryover champion. It's never been this high in it's 40 year history, and I'd say the rule change made last year that binned the "5 day winning streak limit", is responsible for this. It was only a matter of time.

If you're ignorant to Jeopardy, then join my club. I learnt its a simple game show played by asking the correct question to a supplied answer. ie:

A: $349,557
Q: How much funding did Eating Media Lunch obtain for series II?

(btw, I spotted Newsboy zooming through Parnell today in a mini. He's good for it.)

Back in 1954, Merv Griffin's response to the (then) scandal around 'fixing' the outcome of question / answer games - he suggested giving the contestant the answers, and have them come up with the question. Jeopardy was born.

With all the reality shows on NZ television screens at the moment, Id be happy to welcome back simple mindless game shows. It's also interesting to note that the 5th series of "The Amazing Race" begins this weekend - and it's both a reality and game show rolled into one!

Which gameshow would you like see returned to our screens? Post your suggestion below.

July 13, 2004

Whatever happened to?

Katherine Kinnard

I ran into a repeat of Street Legal last night and pondered that very question.

If the name is lost upon you, then any New Zealander will recognise her from Street Legal. She played Joni - once David's (Laga'aia) lover and business partner in their law firm.

Some may even remember, she was briefly on Shortland Street as 'Lucinda Reeves'. She played a nemesis to dear Rachel, whilst man-juggling.

Upon a little digging, I also found out that she starred in a NZ filmed british series called Dark Knight. She was one of many whom passed through Xena (she played Miss Skiros), she starred as 'Astrid' in ScreenWorks other TV show "Hard Out", hosted the 2003 Modus Operandi Fashion Design Awards alongside Mr Peter Urlich, and late last year starred as Miss Julie in August Strindberg's show at the Maidment last year - to the delight of The Listener.

So where has she gone? Has she moved into natural therapies with a big herb garden or discovered white gold and is now helping sick people in remote corners of the globe?

She has been working on a film with Lions Gate Films (see: Michael Moore's "9/11") called The Vector File, which is currently in release through Arkles Entertainment. It's about an accidental DNA printout that could void the human race by a mutant strain of Smallpox. Charming. Katherine playes a Russian secret service agent out to retrieve the DNA in a race before a bunch of Russian bio-terrorists (backed by the Russian Mafia) beat her to it. WILD!

I hope it hasn't affected her poetry.

July 10, 2004


Things I know about this mission:
Cassini left Earth in 1997, arrived at Saturn's reception desk last week (July 1) and will wander around the establishment for 4 years, taking photos, and stool samples.

And now, Facts About Saturn, with your host, Johnny Gill!


Hi everyone, I'm Johnny Gill. You may remember my hit 'Rub You The Right Way' during Teddy Riley's 'NewJackSwing' movement in the early 90's. Anyhoo, I will now present 5 amazing facts about the recent arrival of NASA's Cassini-Huygens spacecraft, down there at Saturn and compare them with my recording career. Word up, dogs.

Fact #1 - "Each ring is 1.5km thick, although total length of all rings span 190,000km. I have had a number of gold records that look like the rings of Saturn."
Fact #2 - "Cassini travelled 3.5 billion kms over a period of 7 years just to GET to Saturn. I lived across the road from Teddy's studio, yup yup."
Fact #3 - "Scientists believe Saturn's rings formed a few hundred million years ago when debris from colliding comets and moons were drawn into orbit around the planet by its gravitational influence. My ring also relies on gravity, although I have not recently checked whats orbiting it."
Fact #4 - "Debris varies in size from tiny dust particles to boulders 10 metres across. I'd have trouble flushing 10 metre boulders, dawg!"
Fact #5 - "This mission has nothing to do with the Lord of the Rings, or any prequel for that matter. I however am the lord of my ring"

Hey, thanks for joining me today and I hope you learnt something about Mars. Oh, and remember, my haircut is real, and my album is still out now!

Tune in next time for more Facts About Saturn, with your host, Johnny Gill!

Official Site

Pic 1 [300dpi]
Pic 2 [300dpi]

July 9, 2004

Rove [Live]

I'm often told "you've got too much time on your hands". I have straight lines on my hand, my right wrist has three even 'wrinkle bracelets', the left the same except one is broken. Maybe I do have a lot of time on my hands, literally. As for my day to day routine - its just good time management.

After watching Rove Live last weekend, I thought Id better visit the website and see what bits never made "What The?".

WOW I was overcome with amazement! Such impertinence filled with supernatural influence!
It's better than Mike Kings show! and other great statements of convenience in the spur of the moment...

I even found a Rove blog, to which I have posted an odd little picture, in the hope that I can tick another publication my name appears. (FHM, Netguide and PCWorld so far, oh and a Courier piece on Q96FM from 1995 - which is currently another post in draft form)

I quite like the show, and this is the pic I sent to the Rove Blog:

Spotted on the door at a K Road Barbers

Also, as the internet goes - you may view a site that I may not visit for years to come (and probably by accident). Finally the reverse happened, where I was pointed to Emotion Eric's website, to which I barked "thats old news bro" to a fast rising PI drive jock. I had an email from a Floridian University ICQ buddy back in '98 about this site, who knew Eric.

Now, Eric is someone with too much time on his hands.

July 8, 2004

You whores

I'm impressed by Bill Drummond's (KLF) new website. He will make a rare appearance at the Clerkenwell Literary Festival in London which is on now till the 14th, when he will talk about it. This is nice arty event for writers, scientists and pop-stars alike who want to share their form with their likeminded peers.

This year’s theme is travel and our writers will take you to outer space and back in time to Clerkenwell’s radical past. We’ve got rocket scientists, supermodels, pop stars, drummers, kids’ events, London’s best writers and the cream of Britain’s young poets."

Bill's new website is like e-bay, but you instead 'whore' yourself for any service you specify. Yes, it does sound like a radio station promo a few moons back.

Here are some 'whores' (nb. content might offend.)

• "For £50 GBP my door supervisors will take you around the back of our nightclub and beat you unconcious like in the movies. We will film it on CCTV and will send you one copy on VHS or DVD."

• "I had a double decker as a treat for lunch, but got half way through it and felt a bit sick. There's still both the nougatine layer and the biscuit base left. I've not eaten all the nougatine and left the base, like some people do. A couple of the rice crispies are a bit soggy, but I've just had a clean bill of health from the doctors so you needn't worry about that. It cost me 38p from the vending machine at work. You can have it for 10p."


and my favourite 'whore':

• "For the bargain sum of 99p, I am willing to come around to your home and arrange your CD collection into alphabetical order, chronological order, in fact any order which rocks your boat. However, should I come across any copies of anything by Las Ketchup or the Cheeky Girls, our contract will become null and void and a compensation fee of £25,000 will be be charged for the emotional and physical distress and trauma inflicted. The number of cups of hot chocolate and pink wafers that will be expected to be supplied will be directly proportional to the number of CDs in your collection and how long it takes to arrange them. Cash only."

I look forward to a hearty offer of 'whorism' by Jarra @ UPFM sometime soon ;)

If I manage to get an expat radio DJ buddy of mine to go to the Clerkenwell Literary Festival and capture his thoughts on it, I will post it here for yiz.

July 5, 2004


Great to see Michael Schumacher land his 60th Grand Prix Victory win for Ferrari, and his 7th Grand Prix De France win early this morning.

The Ferrari team went out for 4 pit stops with the first an early manouvre. It panned out to be an interesting bit of planning as Schumacher was tailing for the first 32 laps. This careful bit of planning was in place after the second pit stop, tiny adjustments were made to the Ferrari upon Michael's comments from out on the track via radio back to his team.

It gave them an off-axis to the rest of the field. This gave enough room to gain seconds and ultimately position. Second and fourth place belonged to Renault and the other Ferrari landed 3rd.

I look forward to the British Grand Prix next weekend - I believe I'm hooked (and I want a Ferrari) :p Props to Mark Smith for putting me onto the race!

more details

July 4, 2004

Side C

Laugh at it now if you already know what I'm on about. The fact is, that we all discover new details about something everyday! Even common things you may think you know everything about!

Here is what I discovered today:

Did you know that "hidden tracks" on a CD were pioneered over 100 years ago?

A very limited number of vinyl records were pressed with 2 spiral grooves instead of one like a normal LP. Depending on when you put the needle down, you'd get one of two recordings.

Monty Python was on par, albeit late in this game. The Matching Tie and Handkerchief LP from 1973 has sides 2&3 on the second side of the LP. Robert Fripp did it once with two different guitar solos and before more unreliable mental recollections, everything points back to 1898, where the genius of Emile Berliner obtained a patent for a disk whose single side contained three concentric sets of grooves.

From there, "Puzzle Records" stormed our record stores circa 1920. Jimmie Rodgers released various short versions (now knows as edits) of three songs within a record - and its known that either an avid Australian or NZ Collector has one of these old pressings.

Upon more digging, I learn that in 1932, records became interactive - by becoming active participants in guessing (see: drinking) games. Pick The Winner was a favourite!

So, these hidden tracks added so much value when you 'listened to a record' back in the 20's and as stated, through many decades. Most of us have tried playing a record backwards too to try and discover Satans messages in his "Rock" music (hahaha) and Nirvana had a track called "Endless, Nameless" which many regard as the 'song' that launched the trend of 'hidden tracks'.

These days, its more common to see a CD with a sticker on it which blatantly promotes it has a 'hidden track' on it. Same goes for DVD's with their 'cookies' or 'alternate endings'. It would be far better to just find these things out of the blue and create wildfire. It's certainly more urgent and exciting when you hear about these things by word of mouth!

Recently, I heard about having the 'hidden track' in-front of the first track. You'll have to start with track 1, then skip backward prior listen to the negative value of that track (-00:05, -00:04 - see..). Here's how to do it.

The good thing about this little trick, is that you really have to go looking for it. That information could be leaked six months after its release, as a rejuvenation tactic by the label, or a PR gag by the artist. Andy Kaufman probably made a hidden recording somewhere. Check it out.

The hidden track has now evolved to 'Internet Only' releases, through secret web addresses - which some can be only unlocked when you have an artists CD in your computers drive. Some CD's are also mixed media, so they may have audio for your CD player, a DVD with the video clip and bonus footage such as the 'making of..', plus pictures, games, themes and wallpapers for your PC.

I'd love to hear a CD with that "scuff scuff, click click" sound of the needle on
the runoff of & LP, at the end of a CD - say 30 seconds after the song finishes!

July 2, 2004

Sniglet anyone?

Sniglets: An interesting word and a funny concept popularized by stand-up comedian Rich Hall. Sniglets are words that don't appear in the dictionary, but should.

Fresh outta the 80's, a batch of Sniglets for you, my dear blog reader!

Idiot Box - the part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves
Pedaeration - perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the
sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed
Traffilapse - the immeasurable amount of time between the moment the
light changes and the jerk behind you starts blowing his horn
Accordionated - being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time
Melon-dixon line - the point of the watermelon you do not eat below because
someone told you it would give you a stomachache
Cinemuck - [SIN-uh-muck] - the combination of popcorn, soda, and melted
chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters
Subatomic Toasticles - [sub ah TOM ik] [TOH stik uhlz] - tiny fragments of
toast left behind in the butter

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