September 11, 2006

Avoid like a bus

(jock) "Listen to me! I'm on the radio. How many times can I say my own name in the same break?"

The real downside to commercial radio in many aspects is its on-air people. Now I don't ever claim to be a perfect jock either but throughout my time on air, I actively searched for mentors, coaches and listening boards. I wanted to know if I was communicating effectively. Prep is one thing, but effective communication is paramount when you put on those headphones. There are a bunch of nasty, NASTY phrases that jocks tend to find in the garage sale of on-air life, that serve no purpose whatsoever. These phrases mean absolutely nothing and its beyond me how they keep showing themselves.
"Be on the listen out". Sonny on Mai FM

That's a poor choice of phrasing. I know what he is trying to say, but he's making himself look rather foolish with bad grammar. Also, you'd think that after 15 years of branding "Aucklands Hottest Music", their new breakfast announcer would have a barbed ruler over the knuckles for saying "your hottest music" every single time he identifies Mai FM. It's one word sure, but its there for one hell of a good reason. You know how antsy ZB get when a caller says "I love 1ZB". What's worse is when you begin talking your own lingo, that your audience doesn't understand. You'd better be prepared for reallocation of shifts if you think about venting your anger or breaking format.

"Freak me out something chronic", and "whats the hapz!". Mel on Times FM

Uhh, you know who your audience is? They're NOT in South Auckland sista, uhh huh. They range from the filthy rich boat owners at Gulf Harbour (with their ridiculous poodle-loving wives in a 4WD that is obviously way too big for her to drive), to small orchardists with good country values and a fair amount of land. Even if you're not in a surveyed market you can still lose listeners, and your job. Whats the "hapz" now sista?

Thorn In My Side - The Top Ten

10 Bad grammar, phrasing
9 Alienating your target audience
8 Not knowing when to stop talking
7 Saying your name too much
6 Clueless winners (who are live on air)
5 Repeating yourself
4 Double fading
3 "Umm" "Ahhh"
2 Shouting your voicebreaks
1 "Up For Grabs"


Smarty said...

Ooo oo, Can I play?

"Coming up 'a bit of' [artist] and 'some' [artist].."

It's all or nothing unless the timeout is looking bad! :D

I try to beat that into my students with regular gay abandon. While, like yourself, not professing to be perfect in any way...


Anonymous said...

Just one thing, I think the reason for your hottest music is that the breakfast show, after 15 years, is now going into Whangarei, thus by saying Aucklands hottest music another of your thorn in my side list "9 Alienating your target audience" would be broken. I fully agree with most of the list, although Clueless winners (Who are live on air) are sometimes a case of a well prepped, upbeat winner freaking out right when the phonecall hits the air. Sure most comps can be pre-recorded but occasionally the live element makes for a great bit. Cheers.